It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that move us along

Today is the first day since I've been here that all day I've questioned whether or not I'm cut out for this. I have been having a lot of stuff from home to deal with, whether it be from various friends, or family, which just makes me want to physically be there, only I know it's not possible. I haven't slept much since I've been here. I have no idea what the problem is, but even on days with no alarm set, when I stay up as late as possible, and take benedryl...I still wake up 5-6 hours later. Most days I'm lucky to stay solidly asleep for 4 hours. Put the lack of sleep with the 18 credits of doom, and you get me questioning what I'm capable of. more of an explanation?
sigh. I was up late focusing on anything but the test I had today, and then proceeded to get about 3.5 hours of sleep(not because I didn't have time, just cuz' I suck at this whole sleeping thing) started the day feeling horribly tired and panicky about my test, and happened to get a traduction paper back that I worked my ass off on...and let's just say it wasn't pretty. He gave our class a spiel on how we all keep making stupid mistakes and we shouldn't be. Only...I looked that thing over and over and my roommate helped me with a few things, and still, I failed it.more than failed it. (in my defense, the english he had us translating, was not english people use, and it was very poorly written in english. How can I be expected to translate crappy english into beautiful french.give.me.a.freakin.break.) After this I was pretty much all doom and gloom. I had pasta with Gabby and Liana, and they tried to keep my mind off of everything. fast forward through more class, and we get to my test that I studied for 5 minutes before class. It really wasn't that bad, but it was time consuming, the thing I had the most trouble with was when we had to take sentences from our text and say them in a different way, without repeating words used in the text. In english, you think; sure piece of cake...in french; not so much. Oh well, I did my best and that's all I can really do.
I do however notice that while I take some time to properly respond in french, I can comprehend it without paying attention anymore. Before I came here I'd have to be actively watching my profs every move to make sure I got what was being said, now I can daydream and somehow catch every word as if it were in English. So while I know today was hard, and I am feeling very down on myself and my capabilities, I know that I am progressing in the language, and days like this will (hopefully) be far and few.
Good things;
-Liana and I cooked dinner last night. and I only mention this because a lot of people are curious about what I'm eating here. okay, so we made salad, with mustard-vinaigrette dressing, and sun dried tomatoes. Our main dish was baguette pizza, with white (bechamel) sauce, emmental (shredded) cheese, sun dried tomatoes, and spinach. We followed dinner with delish dessert; some sort of vanilla bean-citrus-y thing for Liana, and a raspberry (very hard to eat) wafery-moussey thing for me. All of this was drank with Pear Cidre. =)
-Forever21 has a EU site and its like 6 euros for shipping, so If I can find cute clothes, it'll be worth the shipping cost.
-My friends here are amazing. All of them have been more than supportive and helpful with me today, and given my mood I know that can't be the easiest. I try to be upbeat and remind myself that I am in France, this is my dream, and that does make me feel bad about being so incredibly worried and down on myself.

I don't want to end on a crappy note, but for fear of boring you to tears with anything else, I'll just give you this(sorry for those who don't like this sort of thing, but then again, you don't have to watch it, and it's my blog afterall):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V45pd3Y4XjA